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When to Guide vs When to Follow

The Fundamental Question

Every AI interaction presents a choice: Do I lead or do I follow? Wrong choice = wasted time.

When to Guide (You Lead)

1. Business Requirements

AI doesn’t know your users, market, or constraints.

GUIDE: "Users need to export data for tax purposes in specific format"
NOT: "How should users export data?"

2. Architecture Decisions

AI suggests patterns. You choose based on reality.

GUIDE: "Use REST APIs since our mobile team knows it well"
NOT: "Should we use REST or GraphQL?"

3. Performance Constraints

AI doesn’t know your scale or bottlenecks.

GUIDE: "This needs to handle 10k requests/second"
NOT: "Make it fast"

4. Security Requirements

AI knows general security. You know your threat model.

GUIDE: "We need SOC2 compliance with audit logging"
NOT: "Make it secure"

5. Integration Points

AI doesn’t know your existing systems.

GUIDE: "This must integrate with our legacy SOAP API"
NOT: "How should this communicate with other services?"

When to Follow (AI Leads)

1. Implementation Details

Once direction is set, let AI handle specifics.

GUIDE: "Users need to stay logged in for 30 days"
FOLLOW AI's answer to: "What's the best way to implement JWT refresh tokens?"

2. Best Practices

AI knows current standards better than most developers.

GUIDE: "It needs to display user profiles"
FOLLOW AI's answer to: "How should I structure this React component?"

3. Error Handling

AI excels at comprehensive error cases.

GUIDE: "It processes payment webhooks"
FOLLOW AI's answer to: "What errors should this API endpoint handle?"

4. Refactoring Suggestions

AI sees patterns you might miss.

GUIDE: "It must remain backwards compatible"
FOLLOW AI's suggestion when asking: "This code feels complex. Suggest improvements."

5. Technology Selection

For well-understood problems, AI knows tool tradeoffs.

GUIDE: "We're on AWS with Redis experience"
FOLLOW AI's recommendation for: "What caching solution for session data?"

The Grey Zone

Some decisions need negotiation:

API Design

Human: "I need user management endpoints"
AI: "Here's a RESTful design..."
Human: "Actually, we prefer GraphQL"
AI: "Here's the GraphQL schema..."

Start by following, then guide corrections.

Database Schema

AI: "Suggests normalized schema"
Human: "We optimize for reads, denormalize"
AI: "Here's denormalized version"

Let AI propose, you dispose.

Testing Strategy

Human: "We need tests"
AI: "Unit, integration, and E2E tests..."
Human: "We only do integration tests"
AI: "Focused integration test suite..."

Pattern Recognition

Guide When:

  • Domain-specific knowledge required
  • Business logic involved
  • External constraints exist
  • Past decisions affect current
  • User experience matters

Follow When:

  • Technical implementation unclear
  • Multiple valid approaches exist
  • Best practices needed
  • Common patterns apply
  • You’re learning something new

Communication Strategies

When Guiding

Be specific and constraining:

"Build auth with these requirements:
- Email/password only
- 2FA via SMS
- Session length 24 hours
- PostgreSQL storage"

When Following

Be open and exploratory:

"I need authentication. What approach would you recommend given modern security practices?"

The Hybrid Approach

Most effective:

"I need auth for a B2B SaaS (context).
What's the current best practice (follow)?
Must integrate with Okta (guide)."